Digital Wellness Therapy — Back in the Driver's Seat

Does This Sound Familiar?

You're not alone

Many people are quietly asking the same questions about their phones, the news, social media, games, pornography, and dating apps. Asking the question is not a sign that something is wrong with you. These products are designed to be hard to put down. Noticing that is where change begins.

I pick up my phone without deciding to.
I meant to check one thing, and an hour disappeared.
I read the news until I feel worse, then keep reading.
My partner says I'm here, but not really here.
I can't read a book or sit through a movie anymore.
I scroll in bed long after I meant to be asleep.
I check my sleep score before I check how I feel.

How This Work Began

What I saw, and what I noticed in myself

Over two decades of opening and running addiction treatment centers, I watched something new walk through the door. Clients came in for alcohol or drugs, and found they couldn't put down their phones. When they tried, the distress was real: anxiety, agitation, restlessness, and a mind that wouldn't settle.

Then I noticed it in myself. After reading Johann Hari's Stolen Focus, I deleted social media from my devices, turned off the news, and read one newspaper for six months. I got my attention back, and with it, more of my life.

Struggling with compulsion is part of being human. Labels like "addict" often become part of the problem.

That's why this work is about changing your relationship with your devices, not shaming you for how you use them.

Paul Randak, LMFT, SUDC

The Approach

More than screen time

Cutting back on screen time helps, but it is rarely the whole story. The phone is usually doing a job for us: calming anxiety, filling loneliness, numbing a hard feeling, or helping us avoid something we'd rather not face. Take the phone away without understanding that job, and the need simply finds another outlet.

So, who's driving? Often it isn't the phone at all. It's a part of you, the one looking for comfort, distraction, or relief. The apps are simply very good at calling that part to the wheel.

So this work looks at the whole person. We are made of many parts, like pieces of a puzzle: our values, our purpose, and the different voices inside us. Some of those parts we're glad to show. Others we keep hidden out of fear or shame, what Jung called the shadow. Hidden parts don't go away. They find a way to make themselves known, and a compulsive habit is often one of those ways.

Lasting change comes from integration: getting to know all of these parts, including the ones that reach for the phone, and bringing them together into a whole person. And because addiction thrives in isolation, we also rebuild what fills the space: real connection with people, nature, creativity, and purpose.

Relationships

Together, alone

Devices don't only take our attention. They change how we show up for each other. A partner looks up from dinner and sees the top of your head. A child asks a question and hears "just a minute," and it's never a minute. Friends sit at the same table, each in a separate world. I call this being together alone: physically present, emotionally somewhere else.

Over time, these small moments add up. They can leave partners feeling unimportant, children feeling unseen, and all of us lonelier than we realize.

Couples. Reconnecting when one or both partners turn to the phone instead of each other.
Parents and children. Setting limits, and modeling the relationship with technology you hope your kids will have.
AI companions. For some, a chatbot has become a primary relationship. We can explore what it gives you, and what human connection might offer that it can't.

The goal isn't to give up technology. It's to let it bring you closer to people rather than replace them.

The Process

Five phases, at your pace

Every plan is built around you. Some people want to stop completely, some want to cut back, and some simply want better habits. The process is the same either way.

Reflect

Notice where your attention goes, what triggers the reach for your phone, and how you feel afterward. Check your phone's screen time report for an honest baseline.
Prepare

Set an intention rooted in your values. Choose a start date. Tell someone who can support you and hold you accountable. Decide what will fill the time you get back.
Begin

Change your environment: notifications off, phone out of the bedroom, tech-free meals. Start the detox or reduction you chose, with regular check-ins.
Practice & Track

Track your progress with kindness. Get to know the parts that pull you back. Celebrate wins, and treat hard days as information, not failure.
Integrate

Build a lasting relationship with technology that serves your values. Plan for setbacks, revisit your digital life regularly, and keep investing in real connection.

Throughout, we practice grace: for yourself on the days you struggle, and for the people around you who are adjusting too. Setbacks are part of the process. Accepting where you are, without judgment, is what makes the next step possible.

Ways to Work Together

Support that fits your life

Individual Therapy

One-on-one sessions to understand what the phone is doing for you, work with the parts that drive the habit, and build a plan that lasts.

Couples & Families

Devices shape how we connect at home. Work together on presence, agreements about technology, and parenting children who have grown up with screens.

Structured Detox Program

A defined plan with a start date, regular check-ins, and progress tracking through each of the five phases, for people who want structure and accountability.

Sessions are available in person in Utah and Oregon, or by teletherapy. For rates and insurance, see Services.

Questions

Common questions

Is this "internet addiction" treatment?

Phone and social media overuse isn't a formal diagnosis, and you don't need a label to get help. Often it's connected to something else, like anxiety, depression, loneliness, or stress in a relationship. We look at all of it together.

Do I have to give up my phone completely?

No. Some people choose a full break for a set time, others choose to cut back or build a few new habits. Your plan is based on your goals and values.

What about apps that are supposed to be good for me?

Fitness trackers, sleep scores, and wellness apps can be genuinely useful. But they can also become another thing we check compulsively, or a number we trust more than our own body. If an app leaves you more anxious than informed, it's worth looking at. Apps your doctor relies on, like glucose or medication tracking, are a different matter, and we'd never ask you to give those up.

Isn't teletherapy just more screen time?

It's a fair question. A video session is one of the most intentional ways to use a screen: a set time, a clear purpose, and a real human connection. If you prefer, in-person sessions are available too.

What if I slip back into old habits?

You probably will at some point. Most people do. Setbacks are part of the process and tell us something useful about what you need. We meet them with curiosity, not judgment.

I'm worried about my child's phone use. Can you help?

Yes. Family sessions can help parents set healthy limits, handle the upset that often comes with them, and model the relationship with technology they hope their children will have.

Will insurance cover this?

It depends on your plan and on what we're treating. When phone use is tied to anxiety, depression, or relationship concerns, therapy may be covered. Paul will go over your options at your consultation.

Back in the Driver's Seat

You're not alone

What I saw, and what I noticed in myself

More than screen time

Together, alone

Five phases, at your pace

Reflect

Prepare

Begin

Practice & Track

Integrate

Who's been driving?

What pulls at your attention?

Why now?

How has it affected your life?

What's happening when you reach for it?

What's your intention?

Who could support you?

Your starting point

Where to go from here